March of Tides

This time of year is the beginning of our busiest time. I absolutely LOVE this time of year but it always comes with a price. Birthdays upon birthdays upon birthdays within days of each other.

My sweet K turns 9 this year. Where the heck has time gone?!! She's growing into such a sweet young girl. And it needs to stop! Oh I am only kidding. I want her to grow up and experience life and just become the best K she can be. I'm so very proud of the girl that she is and continues to become. I hope she understands that one day.

The stressful part of all this....family. Everyone wants a piece of K and they all want to come and celebrate. No problem right? Well, the problem with our particular situation is that 2 days prior and 2 days after HER birthday are two birthdays that certain family members really could care less about. It is my responsibility to account for those birthdays in my planning. Being a planner, I start a month in advance. I try to be diplomatic and include everyone but I those oh so many other factors I am dealing with in our planning process are just that...important parts of our month/celebration. It's not as cut and dry and I would like and where I do love this time of year, dealing with and attending to possible hurt feelings and politic mumbo jumbo is starting to make me want to go away every year about this time and be gone for 5 days. That would be enough time. Presents can be mailed, facetime is oh so awesome so we can utilize that little piece of amazing technology, but...stay away and let us enjoy our birthday celebrations stress free. Selfish as it may seem...and I do get that it does seem that, it is the way my husband chooses to be in regard to the entire situation and (like I stated earlier with the 'non cut and dry aspect') I will respect him above any other human.

My goal right now is to deal with the planning, communicate our wishes and do my best to accommodate all parties but, to let the frustration and anxiety go. This is a wonderful time of year where we get to celebrate the miracle that is our daughter. I don't want anything interfering with that at all!

And to that end I bid you farewell. Well...you being the blank web space I occupy. No one reads this anyways!

Today.

I had my first exam this semester, today. I felt fairly prepared for it but with my luck, I barely passed. ONE day I'll look back and think..."Boy, that was all worth it." I sure am looking forward to that moment in time. Going back to school at my age for my UNDERGRAD has been challenging for so many different reasons. I know I'm not the oldest in my classes, but I sure feel like it most days. My motivation and drive to get all this completed is slowly gaining momentum and it's an addiciting feeling. It's nice to feel that sense of drive....I've not experienced much of that in my life. I was simply living a life of existence up until a few years ago. Now, after lots and lots of prayer and waiting and soul searching and gut wrenching revelations, I am finally hearing that answer to my question of, 'what will you  have me do in this world?', and it's rather peaceful. The ins and outs of this are not yet carved out...but the path is faint and it's lit up just for me.

Several years ago I was given a vision. Believe it or not....I feel that this vision is one sent directly from my Abba father. I had been on the floor begging and pleading (in an overwhelmingly raw and broken set of moments in a tumultuous) to see some sort of positive, some sort of reason as to why all this heartache we had been enduring on all levels of our lives was going on and continued time and time again. Knowing as I prayed and wept that I was not about to receive any real answers, I got a vision. Funny how our Father in Heaven works. When we least expect it He delivers beyond our eilsest imagination! Lesson learned and learned and learned again...my head is thick and He sure knows it. This vision came and went faster than a flash but it remains to this day. THAT vision is what has kept me going throughout these last 3 years. HIS vision is what I continually come back to time and time again as I ponder my life and what OUR purpose is here on earth not just my personal purpose. This greater purpose is not MY purpose. It is HIS. And I look forward to that light on OUR path getting brighter and brighter as that vision He planted in my head and heart comes to its glorious fruition.

Be still and KNOW that I am God.

And so, I shall. I shall wait on His timing for His is and always will be, best.

Speechless

I am a wonderful blogger. Absolutely GREAT! My once a year posts I am sure are beyond inspiring. I can just imagine the wait and anticipation for my ever ready audience to hear my next words....a YEAR later. Holy hell that's ridiculous!

Moving on...

Let's sum up 2013 in a paragraph shall we?

K finished 2nd grade and started 3rd. She succeeded in passing and has succeeded in advancing her educational career some more in the third grade. I too have advanced my education...by getting put on financial aid warning! Good times in "D" land over here. D stand for Determined to not live that semester again. C and I got engaged over the summer and married on 11-12-13! Hey, second time around...who needs the show and who has the MONEY for that kind of shindig?! Not us that's for sure. C is still lovin his job. Has a great crew and even better Sargent. He's been a happy camper about all that so that makes this LEO wife a happy camper too. I have been attempting to run more and more but my blasted IT band likes to make it difficult. Hate you IT band. Maybe one day I can overcome the pain and just run that blasted half marathon before my body totally gives out on me. Hey...I did get up to my all time farthest distance of 8 miles in 2013. I was proud. I guess.....that about sums up the highlights.

I think that writing will indeed help me become a better writer....well DUH! SO, I am going to make a concerted effort (and for me, if I make it TWICE a year that's an improvement! hahaha!) to write out my thoughts here. I write as if people are reading but who am I kidding? No one reads this blog anyways. 

Now, I am on to studying for Research Design and Analysis and Social Psychology. Both classes have tests next week and I HAVE to ace them. *Refer back to previous paragraph of FAW*

Til next year people!