Today

...was a great day!

~Wake up with the hubby fast asleep on one side of me and my sweet little girl snoozin on the other side of me! COZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZYYYYYY sandwich! After K wakes up, she runs out of bed. A minute or so later she comes running back into the room to tell me that Santa ate all the cookies AND drank the milk! PLUS the reindeer ate the reindeer food on the porch and "they were messy!" It was the cutest thing to see her face light up so much.

~open up presents and stockings and swim in a sea of wrapping paper with the girl!

~Eat a small snack while singing Happy Birthday to Jesus as we listen to Christmas music.

~Get dressed and head over to the parents house for a yummy traditional coffee cake breakfast with other delicious mom made foods. PLUS I got to try out a fantastic Blueberry Coffee Cake recipe I got from Monica. You should check her out...she makes soooo many amazing yummies! Thanks Monica! It was a hit! :o)

~Play Guess.tures with the family and kick some royal booty with me and my ma on the same team! It's like we have a 6th sense or something! hehehe!

~Hang out some more then play Cran.ium where again...our team kicks some booty! But not by much! It was fun and hilarious!

~Sit and chat with mom while she fixes some delicious chicken salad and grilled cheese. Clean up the kitchen and house then say our goodbyes because my sweet hoosband has to work tonight and we needed to get him home to change and get ready.

So here I am at home, sitting once again on the couch with my lap top and tv with my sweet little spoiled beyond belief little girl. Happy as a clam that today she wore herself out. Her words not mine. And as we prayed our prayers goodnight, we thanked Jesus for all that He does and once again wished him a wonderful birthday. And Katelyn even hugged Jesus goodnight. :o)

Thank you God for the amazing Gift of our Lord and Savior. Happy Birthday Jesus!! We loooooooveee You!!!!

Am I enough

I was sitting on the couch earlier today checkin my facebook (on my new and wonderful laptop!!) with Katelyn playing on the coffee table with her small animals. She loves animals! She is so cute makin them talk and have personalities and everything. Super cute!

I had been watching TLC mornings where there are baby stories, adoption stories etc. and just had it on in the back round at this point. The show playing was Adoption Story. This particular story was a family who had 2 special needs kids they had adopted and were wanting more....there's more to the story but I wasn't really watching. The couple were talking about how they weren't satisfied with just one child; they wanted more. They would be happy with more children.

As I was sitting on the couch, Katelyn being all cute with her little animals turns around ever so sweetly and asks me, "Are you a happy with just one"?

Stop me cold in my tracks.

My precious sweet miracle asking me is she was enough. If just her, my only one was good enough. I don't think she will ever know just how happy I am with "just one".

I am so thankful for the journey I have been on with all the pregnancy loss/miscarriage. It has changed me forever and brought me even closer to my Lord and Savior and for that, how could I not rejoice? I am also thankful that I have not been one to overly dwell on the loss. I am thankful that my outlook has been one of love and learning instead of pity and "whoa is me". I don't dwell on the if I am to have another child and we are content being where we are right now. It hasn't been an easy journey I'll admit, but today, this day and for the few previous years I am more than happy with our "just one". I am nlot saying this to be prideful. I say this because it hit me like a ton of bricks. My happyness with "just one" not only affects me and my husband, but Katelyn is profoundly affected by our situation as well. It was today that realized just how amazing all of this is. And today, when my one was asking if she was good enough, I got to honestly answer, "I am more than happy with just one." And I meant it with all of my heart.

I'm a little bit humbled by such an innocent little (gigantic) question.

Honesty

Well, I deleted my last post because well, I am not quite sure. Just did.

But the jest of the situation is, I get addicted to exercise and not for exercise sake. For the mirror's sake and how it makes me look after running and exercising. So, in all my seeking to be a better person in God's eyes, I have asked Him to direct my exercise and I have asked Him to be the judge on what the mirror says or does not truly say to me. I've never been one to think too highly of myself or my appearance so for now, I just want to see myself the way God sees me. We're still workin on it! One day I hope to. One day.

For now, my first step is to exercise. Exercise so that I can be healthy. Exercise so that I can enjoy working my body the way it was intended...cause Lord knows I LOVE to run and my body seems to know what its doin. (thanks daddy for these skoootin legs!) I am excited to be running again and I look forward to my new journey!!

So now that that's all said...I went running tonight with the girls! Super fun!! I have forgotten how fun it is to run with someone and actually TALK!! I love my quiet time with God and my music but a running partner adds so much to my run. And we did pretty good for our first run. It wasn't too too cold either. We are planning to meet up once a week and run together and run the other times at home. I am looking forward to our weekly runs and fellowship with the girls!

Now, we just need to find a 5k that is in the near future....any ideas anyone? And come join us!!!

He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver

I copied this from a friend's blog and it spoke so dearly to my heart. Thanks Krystal for sharing this with us.




Malachi 3:3 says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study. That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.."

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the
silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you. Pass this on right now. This very moment, someone needs to know that God is watching over them, and whatever they're going through, they'll be a better person in the end.

"A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love, and encourages you with hope."

Lessons

Often times I need a huge smack in the face. Sometimes literal, but most often just a figurative thing. As is today.

I have been praying that the Lord continue to show me the things that I need to change about myself. Good, bad, or indifferent. Just the things in my life that are not pleasing in His eyes.

Careful, He does always answer prayer.

To make a long drawn out boring self centered story short, let's just say, my issues as of late were a huge eye opening experience. One that allowed me to see ME how I have been. The ugly side. The hypochondriac side. The side that is relying on the world around me and NOT my Heavenly Father. Worry, doubt, disbelief....not matter how small or how its "used" was and is displeasing to Him.

"Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. " Isaiah 41:10

Let this be my motto. Let this always be in the forefront of my mind. Fear is not of the Lord...and if it's not of Him, I don't want it.

Normal

Thank you to everyone who sent their prayers and good thoughts my way about the other day. I went to the doc today and found out nothing. What happened is simply the way my body ovulates...REALLY! The only way to get rid of the monthly pain is to take birth control, and quite frankly, I don't do birth control. For many reasons really but the main one is that I love my husband and when I am on birth control....well, I want to kill him or myself or anyone that comes near me. Other times my acne rears its ugly head (no pun intended) and then others, well, you don't need to know the side effects of those. Let's just say I don't fare well on the stuff and to be perfectly honest, my track record with pregnancies and the like has been pretty much what God wanted when He wanted it. SOOOOOO with that said, my body is out of my control. Lord willing I will have another baby, but if I don't, it will be because He chose it and I wasn't the one controlling the situation. Either way, I rejoice in knowing that He is the one in control!!

And that's my story.

Thanksgiving thoughts and concerns

So, here I sit on Thanksgiving evening. Chris is off at work, Katelyn is fast asleep and Laura is out enjoying a thanksgiving movie with her boyfriend Crash. I sit as I always do on the couch watching tv. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is my choice tonight. I love this movie. It always reminds me to be soooo thankful for what our Lord and Savior did for us. What a sacrifice and one that is beyond comprehension most days. I mean really. It brings me to tears every time I let my brain wrap around the idea of what the Lord did for me, for us, for those that call Him King.

So what are you thankful for this day?

The list is broad and wide for me. But here are just a few:

-My Lord and Savior. Without Him...well, let's just not think about that.
-My amazing husband. All of our struggles and all of our heartache have just made me love him even more. He is the absolute best father to our little girl, he is an amazingly hard worker, devoted and loyal, so completely loving and my absolute best friend. How did I ever get so lucky?? Did I mention completely sexy to boot?! ;o)
-My beautiful and gregarious daughter. She is growing into an even sweeter girl each and every day. Her heart is so big and precious and I am thankful for that.
-My wonderful family. They always make me smile!
-This roof over our heads. Although it comes at a small humbling cost, it is home.
-The most amazing friends a girl could ask for. I love each one of you and count you as my sisters!
-The great opportunity to go back to school. This has been on my heart to do for a very long while and with His help, I will succeed and accomplish this goal He has set before me.

There is so much more I have to be thankful for but this is what's on my heart as of right now.



With all that I am thankful for, I still wonder at times about the things in life which we cannot change. I wouldn't bring this up on such a "thankful" day but there is a reason for my train of thought. You see, as we speak, I am sitting here on my couch in pain. Pain that I am not quite sure why it's here. This is not a foreign pain to me. In fact, it is one that I am all too familiar with. It has just come in different ways for me over the years. In 2004, it meant my first laproscopic procedure to remove ectopic number 1; in 2006 it meant my second lap procedure to remove ectopic number 2 and removal of my ruptured fallopian tube; in 2007 it meant 22 staples to remove ectopic number 3 on one remaining "good tube" and with that, a tremendously hard recovery; and in 2009 (january) it meant a miscarriage and ruptured ovarian cyst.

No I am not pregnant. No I am not having another ectopic pregnancy. HPT reveals quite the opposite. But what IS happening is not clear. All my self diagnosing research is telling me that I could be experiencing another ovarian cyst. The pain is tolerable, as I seem to have an incredible pain tolerance, so therefore I will not be heading to the ER again. I am not experiencing any abnormal bleeding (sorry for those that don't like TMI) so again no need for ER visit. But what IS in my immediate future is a nice little trip to exposing myself house of fun-MD. The wonderful Dr. Atkins. If it is a cyst and it hasn't ruptured, then I guess my body will just absorb it. If it has ruptured, then I guess my body will have to absorb it as well. I really don't know but honestly, and this is why its so much on my mind right now, I just really would like to NOT have female issues. We've been married since 2003 and starting in 2004, I have been to the hospital once a year having surgery except for 2008. Tiring....YES! Although I have come to terms will all the loss we have had, I still have the questions. Right or wrong they are still there.

-What is the purpose of all this?
-Is there an end in sight to all the "issues" I seem to have?
-What am I supposed to learn from all that has gone on? Cause if I had learned the lesson, wouldn't the "issues" be gone?
-Bring it on Lord if there is more for me to learn...speak and I will listen. Or is this my cross to bear?

All these questions, all this pain, I'm really just tired. Plain and simple. Tired and ready to move on.

what you see when walking....

Something weird happened to me the other day.

I went on a walk. A long walk on my cross training day. As I was walking down this one street, I came up on the street in our neighborhood where there is an assisted living home. I honestly have never seen anyone go in or out but its there. I was walking listening to Meredith Andrews or Addison Road (can't remember which but those are my two favs right now so I know I was listening to either of them!) when I looked up to see a sweet elderly couple out for a walk. The woman was dressed in a light pink pants and shirt and had beautiful white hair styled the way you would expect a woman of her age to style it. I laughed. The man had on khaki shorts and a blue shirt with a full head of white hair. I laughed again. It made me smile to think about how we never really get old...boys will always wear blue and girls will always love pink! I then thought about my grandmother and how much she too loves pink to this day and wondered how far back that color went with her and her love of it. Will I too wear the colors I love today when I am the age this woman was?

As I walked on I just watched this sweet couple. Their speed was expected and I smiled at the way they held one another hands. So sweet so innocent yet so natural and cute. Her little purse swinging on her right shoulder waiting to get to CVS. As they turned onto the drive to get to the parking lot, I was taken aback. To most it may have not been any big deal...an old couple taking their sweet time to get anywhere. But when that husband reached across his wife's back and gently yet so ever lovingly directed her to the inside of the walkway, the side closest to the grass and away from any traffic that may enter the drive, I almost stopped in my tracks. Such a simple act showing love and care, protection and concern. This act was done with such grace and habit that I felt like I was getting a glimpse into a sweet couple's intimate rituals.

Then.....I started to cry. Yes that's right...cry. Just a few small tears but my eyes welled up nonetheless.

You see, as I was watching this couple, I was reminded of my dear husband. The man who loves me through it all. The man who when I am old and "pink" will be right there by my side directing me away from traffic putting himself at risk to protect me still. I know he will do this because, you see, he does this now and always has. He has always done this ever since I have known him and I love that about him. His way of protecting me even when I didn't think I needed it. It made me think about what we will be like when we get old and I wondered if we would look anything like the couple I was "spying" on. I laughed again and thanked God for these small little glimpses into what sweet walks I have to look forward to with my ever loving and protective white haired man in blue!

Happenings and such

Well well...me and my timely posts. I continually say that I will be a better blogger but truth is...I don't like to sit on the computer. Just ask any of my clients who get their photos a wee bit later than I would like to get them to them...yikes.

Anyway...a LOT has been going on around here since my last post.

I have had an amazing first month on my treatment. Its amazing the difference that a month makes. I told my doc the other day that I honestly felt happy for the first time in years. I have energy to spare and I've even started training for a 5k. My first racing 5k since before I was married. I can't believe how much I miss running! Well, let me clarify...jogging is more like it right now! When you haven't run in 6 and a half years, you have to start slow. And slow I am! I ran my first timed mile the other day (after a week of training) in 9 minutes 15 seconds. Its a start! I time my next mile tomorrow...we'll see!

Katelyn has decided that she wants to be a typical 4 year old. What does that mean some might ask...you'll only be asking that if you DON'T have a 4 year old. Ha! We've had lots of "go to your room" times in the last few days. Its been super fun! And just today she has started laughing at me when I am disciplining her. That's super fun! Let me tell you. But, let's not dwell on the negative! Its easy to do with the mom of a 4 year old. Despite her finding herself, she is such an incredible girl. So happy and creative. She plays all day long with her animals and toys. She is sooo imaginative. I love that about her. She still has no real desire to practice writing her name...she'd much rather play with her stuffed animals! I guess she takes after her momma that way! I was sooo not the student, but loved to create things and play all the time. She starts school the week we are in Florida and she is looking forward to it. I think she gets really bored these days sitting in the house due to the immense heat. We go to the water park occasionally but that is it. I wish we had a pool of our own to stay occupied more often. School will help for sure. I just can't believe she is a year away from starting KINDERGARTEN! Don't get me started on that....sighhhh

In other news, we are headed to DISNEY WORLD in 4 weeks! We can't wait! Katelyn is soooo super excited about going and talks about it all the time. She can't wait to go visit Cinderella's castle and ride on her very first plane ride! That will be a lot of fun for all of us. A whole week in Disney thanks to Chris's mom and step dad. Its a family trip and we look forward to spending some fun vacation time with everyone.

Chris got tested for Lyme disease a couple weeks ago and got his results the other day. Verdict...we are a Lyme couple! Yes in fact he does have lyme disease. Seriously, what are the odds? Now we wait and see when we can afford to head to Houston to get him into the same Doc I see. I am just baffled at this. I mean not really...we both got bit at the same time with the same kind of bite. I am just perplexed as to the why. I know we aren't supposed to ask "why" and trust that our Heavenly Father has everything under control. The faithful part of me doesn't ask...the human part of me does. With everything is a chance to learn and grow closer to our Lord and Savior. Yes I know this. Maybe I need to practice it a bit more and the "whys" won't be so haunting....

Continued news...we have no computer right now. A wonderful virus ate our computer. So, luckily we "slaved" our old comp and got the important photos and files off the old one and are now in the process of reformatting the old one. I honestly don't miss the computer. I am currently using my sister's lap top but other than that, I'm not real sad to have no internet access. (Refer to previous statement about computer sitting not a fan of statement!) So this post will be photo free...not that I have been taking a lot of photos lately anyways.

Well...I'm off to do something constructive...dishes, fold laundry or finish my book!

Book it is! HA!

Thanks for stopping by!

And just because I want to....

My favorite picture of Katelyn...to date.

Pray pray PRAY!!

Tomorrow is a big day. But Wednesday, Wednesday is the bigger day. Tomorrow my little family and I (minus the dog and cat) will be heading to the hot humid city of Houston. Normally I can't stand making the trip in the summer to the most humid city known to man (ok...maybe a we bit of an exaggeration), but this time I am completely excited. I've been looking forward to this day since I made the appointment 3 weeks ago. After the gazillion doctor's appointments and numerous phone calls, lab work after lab work and hour after hour of wasted time on seeing doctors, I am hopefully making one last visit to the doctor for a VERY LONG TIME!

I am headed to Houston to see a homeopathic MD. A family friend recommended this doctor for the healing and eradicating of the disease that has plagued my body for 2 years now. I am finally hopeful and PRAYERFUL about this chapter of my life finally ending. This chapter called Lyme. Recently I have started having the "episodes" that knock me out for a day and a half so this appointment is coming at the perfect time. (well the actual perfect time would have been almost a year ago when I started seeing the other doc about my lyme....but we won't go there)

All I can do now is pray that Dr. Robinson will and does have the answer, the cure, the healing for this disease.

Please be praying too! For any of you that know about this disease or have known me through these last 2 years, pray! THe Lord has shown me and taought me so many things through this expierence and I am thankful for that. But let's move on!!

Update when we get back...but for now, the cutest little kitty cat ballerina EVER!!

We weren't supposed to use our cameras but I was second row and didn't use my flash...so I snapped this one a few others.

There aren't many of the two of us. My sweet firl and her flowers!

Her poor daddy...he looks so wiped in the pictures. Prolly because he is! Had worked the night shift the night before and didn't get any sleep all day this day. It was 10pm by now and poor daddy was fightin hard.

More full costume shots to come...once we get back I plan on taking her picture with her costume on. So cute!! But maybe I'm just a wee bit biased. :o)

Photos and then some

I'm not the best at posting...as we are all aware! These days I am trying to take more photos. I find that I usually only pick up my camera when I have a shoot scheduled and not ever just randomly throughout the day or week. I would like for that to change. So, I'm doing just that...shooting more often. Nothing spectacular...just fun random shots throughout our day.

My sweet BIG girl (who picked out that outfit all by herself might I add) at the park today. It was a beautiful day outside and the tail end of C's weekend so we headed to the park. It's hard to get her to actually LOOK at the camera so this is what ya get! I still can't believe how old she is looking.

Does this father daughter picture really need any explanation? I think it pretty much speaks for itself. Love it.

















It's not always a good idea to wear jeans to the park on a very bright sunshiny day in Texas. In May. So, I sat in the shade over off to the side of the playground and shot some pictures. I love texture when photographing and there is plenty of it on this park bench.



One of our favorite sandwich shops to eat at is Potbelly's. Chris hated it at first but then shortly found that adding the famous peppers to the sandwich adds sooo much flavor! And he's loved 'em ever since. We got to splurge on sandwiches the other day while out and about shopping for new shoes for K. She is growing like crazy and so are her feet! We took her to the local shoe shop that had a huge sale going on and the added 20% off coupon I had was great. She got some super cute pink Nike's. Shocking huh? Pink. She loves pink!




Well I am off to fix my family some dinner. I'll be postin again soon! Stop back by!

Welcome to my monday...

When living in Texas and you don't have a pool...what do you do?! Sprinklers! Katelyn has a blast with the flower sprinkler she got for her birthday a couple of years ago.


Speaking of water and Katelyn...I am at a loss as to what to do about my still peeing in the bed at night 4 year old. To pull-up or not to pull-up. A friend recommended that I just put her in undies and let her pee the bed...she'll eventually start waking up and going herself. 10 days later that is not the case. She has some really clean sheets and my washer is seeing some even more daily use. I tried waking her up and taking her potty before I go to bed...that worked. But is this ME being potty trained or her? Advice? Suggestions?


Remember the house buying comment I made...well, we will most likely not be buying a home or moving any time soon. I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand we will be financially better off NOT moving any time soon. Not to mention we will still be close to family, friends, K's school and familiarity. On the other hand, I will sleep better knowing that come 530am, my overly tired night shift working husband would be home in 15 minutes rather than 60. And half the time he has to work late, making his time being awake even longer. Like saturday for example; he worked extra because they were understaffed on the shift after his and so he worked a total of 16 hours friday to saturday. Granted its time and half for the extra but still. If we lived closer I wouldn't have been so worried. That day I ended up driving the hour to pick him up, driving home and driving the hour to take him back to work and driving home. Now I did this gladly because of the drive he would have had to make after working that many hours and I knew how tired he would be. It just makes me nervous that he drives that far after having worked so hard during the night. Anyways...its a constant prayer of mine...


Randomness anyone?


This thing is like super tall. I am afraid of heights so Beth doesn't like to do a lot of playing on this one. K loves it! She gets her bravery and dare-devilness from her daddy. NOT me.

If ya look closely.....you will see a big old POOP (mud) spot! hahahahaha! This is what happens when a 30 year old braves the way too tall slide with daughter and doesn't look at the slide first. Could it have been located in a more ridiculous spot?!! I mean seriously. SERIOUSLY! And no...there was no one blinded by the whiteness of my legs throughout the duration of my short wearing day. Thanks.

Chris got out all of our cds the other night to organize them. We have a ton and they looked so cool as he sorted and arranged them.

I wish I could post the picture of the 3 girls over here at my house all running around playing and being "Bolt" with nothing but their undies on! "But mommy Bolt doesn't wear clothes". How can I argue with that? So they run around in undies because Bolt wears nothing except for the lightening bolt...which they all have drawn on their sides. Ahh to be 2, 4 and 5 with an active imagination! I love it.


I'm off to fix lunch and then the park has our name written all over it! Hope your monday is a good one!

Ten on Tuesday

Because I tend to be quite a follower and not creative enough to think of something new on my own...we will have ten on Tuesday today.

10. I am borderline obsessive compulsive. Took me 30 years to admit it, but I am. I really noticed it when I was loading the dish washer one day. Chris had put some dishes in there and I was coming around later to finish up the loading. Well, it wasn't satisfactory enough for me. So what did I do? Yup...I rearranged each piece that was unsat. I seriously need to let that go! sheesh just writing it makes me sound like a freak!

9. Speaking of obsessive, I actually am obsessive about my nails. I can chew the heck out of skin around my nails but my nails are impeccably manicured all the time. I usually manicure them every other day. Which reminds me....tonight's the night! ;o)

8. Did I mention I am wanting to start training for 5k's? If I did, then you now know just how much I really want to! If I didn't, then now you do! I want to run 5k's again...like the wind man...like the wind.

7. We might be moving...again. No contracts have been put down and nothing really has been truly discussed or we don't even know if we CAN get approved for a loan or anything like that...but prayers are being said and thats all Im gonna say. Once I can say more....I will tell the awesome story of it all!

6. 6 is my favorite number. I guess because I am one of six kids and very proud of that fact...but its true. I just love the number 6.

5. I wish I had more "guts". Cause if I did, I just might sing in public. I would LOVE to have the nerve to karaoke...or even do some stand up. I would love to do that. Although I am not sure I am sarcastic enough for that.

4. I think I have mentioned that previously mentioned small detail before....did I mention also that I have a freakishly weird memory? I can remember people and their birthdays from elementary and/or junior high school that I wasn't really even friends with but I can't remember what I told you last week...or what someone told me last week...do they make a pill to correct for that?

3. I don't like crowds. In fact, I loathe them. I detest the very place they are at that moment. If you see me at the mall on saturday it is because I am being pulled by my hair kicking and screaming...that or I just need to go and its the last day for me to go before I have to give that certain gift I am trying to find to that certain person. But its true. We are going to Disney World this summer and I am not looking forward to the crowds...but actually I think we are going the first week of school so the crowds won't be a factor! YIPPEE!!

2. I don't make friends very easily. Wish I did...but never have. I guess that could be attributed to my ultimate lack of trust for all mankind. ;o) or...maybe not. I'm clausterphobic so maybe that's why I hate crowds. I don't hate the people involved in the crowds, just the crowd itself.

1. Did I mention that I still have lyme disease? Well, I do. And I'm not happy about that. DId you know? On top of all that, I called 5 holistic doctors yesterday and left messages with all of them to call me back and all of 1 called me today. I was actually impressed even the one called me back. However he only takes phone calls from 9-10 each morning and I got his message at 10:03. Drat! Mabe tomorrow I can call him. Wish me luck!

Well, Chris is done putting sweet tiredbeyondbelief Katelyn to bed so I think we will sit and watch a movie together. It's the beginning of Chris's weekend so Happy Friday to US!!!

Thanks for stopping by!

Another day...another dollar

You know, I am full of cliche sayings. Its true. The other day I said the same stupid saying (of which I can't remember now) to two different people within a few hours of each other. Chris just laughed...I blame lyme disease for sucking the knowledge right out of me!

Ok ok...i have to stop blaming lyme eventually.

Speaking of the bug that has gotten me ticked (pun intended), I went to the doc for another check up last week.

Guess what?!

I still have lyme. And on top of that, it looks as though the end is nowhere in sight. Yup. 10 minutes of talking with doc after driving an hour only to find out that my numbers aren't where they need to be and even when they get to where he wants them, I am not 100% cured. Huh? Then why are we working on getting those numbers up? He didn't explain. Just told me to keep taking the antibiotics (that I have been on for 8 months now) and he'll recheck my bloodwork and call me.

Yea...like you did the last month? Even AFTER I called asking for my results. Sheesh. It's time for a change. So....after contacting an online friend about her situation, I am on the hunt for a Homeopathic doctor who knows something about Lyme disease. No more drugs that just seem to be NOT HELPING and onto healing the way God intended...naturally.

Speaking of healing, my aforementioned friend (the one in the roll over) is healing well. She is still seeing a neurologist for some nagging symptoms that need some prayer. Also be praying that she gets some help financially. Being a single mom is tough and now that she is out of work and has been for 2 weeks with NO vacation sick leave, she is loosing money every day. Keep her in your prayers please.

On a positive note, I have started running again. YEA! It's awesome! And by awesome I mean completely humiliating and incrediably hard because after running a mere half of a mile I want to die. Seriously. Die. I used to run mile after mile after mile...only to come home because it was too late and dark and I feared for my life. But it was nothing for me to go out and run for over an hour at 6+ miles at a time.

What. Happened?

Oh I'll tell you. Marriage. Ha! I stopped runningabout a year after we got married because I got pregnant, had surgery, got pregnant 2 months later, had a kid. Got pregnant again...had another surgery. Got lyme disease then got pregnant again, miscarried and was told to lay off activity because of the ovaria cyst they found...tennis ball sized. YEA! Don't wanna mess around with that. So, here we are, 5 years after I stopped running. Out of shape and completely winded after half a mile. Time for some major training and whipping my butt back into shape.

Well, I'm off to pay another dollar on this 'nother day...gotta pick up the cat who is getting spayed today.

Thanks for stopping by and enjoy the pic of my lovely playing in the mini cottage at the Dallas Arboretum.

Grace in abundance

I sit here on the verge of tears unending...

...God is so good.

Good in ways I can't even explain in coherent terms. But its such an amazing feeling to know that not only do I have the unstoppable love of my earthly father, but I have an even more powerful love of my Heavenly Father. And let me tell you, the thought of a love greater than my dad is simply unfathomable. So needless to say sitting here thinking about the love that comes from Above simply leaves me awestruck.

Breathless.

What could have possibly happened for me to actually sit and write a blog about it?

I'll tell you.

Sunday evening I was sitting on my couch when I got a phone call around 930ish. Not unusual for this night owl but still odd nonetheless seeing how it was Sunday night. I answer the call from one of my best friends. She instantly sounds bad and goes into detail about how our other friend was last heard from her boyfriend driving down the road when she said "Oh shit!" And then there was crunching and then nothing.

Nothing for 25 minutes until the firefighter finally answered her cell phone asking her boyfriend questions about Jennifer.

Last year my dad was in an accident and I can't tell you the impact that had on me. A daughter potentially loosing not only her Daddy but a very best friend was almost too much for me to handle. He's my daddy...but even with that, I knew that he would be ok because he was on his Vespa and was only going 25 or so miles an hour.

Tonight I live those thoughts all over again because I saw in full detail the pictures of my friends truck.

......The only way she is alive is because God's amazing love. His mercy. His grace. His miracle. His EVERYTHING. She flipped her truck 5-6 times and crushed the roof in on top of her. The air bags did not deploy. The dash came in on her....she hit her head and has a concussion. Scraped hand and sore body.

That. is. it.

The carnage that was left from her wreck is enough to make anyone believe in miracles. She went home the next day.

So, needless to say, Our Father in Heaven never ceases to amaze me. I am in awe. Complete awe.

Father we praise Your Holy Name. Thank you for protection over Jennifer Sunday night. You were there with her and the proof is so incredibly evident. Continue to heal her fully and let Your Glory shine through all of this.

Amen

where the sidewalk ends

Well, as history goes, I'm due for an update. Once every couple of months for the 2 people who read this is good...don't ya think?

Its March and I am now 30.

K is 4.

4....what a crazy number. Who would have thought that by the end of my 20's I would have had 4 pregnancy losses and one healthy child. The end of January I had a miscarriage. I blame all the yuck medicine I had been on for Lyme's disease. But the blessing in that was despite the other 3 ectopic pregnancies, this pregnancy WAS in the uterus. PRAISE GOD!! Well, that's a duh seeing how He places the babies where He wants them anyways!

Speaking of Lyme...I wish I had done more research in regard to treating Lyme disease and gone the homeopathic route. But alas, this doc was highly recommended and I ran over to get the drugs. Hindsight being what it is, I would have prayed more about it and really sought after what direction God wanted me to go...He is after all The Great Physician. Wouldn't He know best what was best for healing me? I thought I had and maybe I did...but what is done is done and hopefully after April 6 I will get the all clear from the Doc. If not, anyone know a doc that will treat me naturally? No more antibiotics please 6 months is MORE than my little liver can handle.

I got a job for the first time since I was nanny before I got married 6 years ago. I don't count my 2 month stint with Vickie's Secret a REAL job. It was more of a joke job than anything. I now am working for a real estate agent here locally that ROCKS! He is in the historic district here in town and I am excited about it. Definitely something brought to me by God because I struggled with calling this guy back for fear that I would have to work or that I wouldn't be good at it. Well, while doing a bible study (after NOT calling him back) God told me to call this guy. I said no. And He said YES! NOW! So, I did and after chatting with this very eccentric man for about an hour and a half, I had a job doing something I have always wanted to do. It will be great because he is willing to work around Katelyn's school schedule and for that I am soooo grateful. Talk about answer to prayer! Anyways...I'm stocked and I have my dear friends Josh and Rian to thank for introducing us!

Katelyn is in school twice a week now. She absolutely loves it and fits right in. I'm amazed at her every day...we have our 4 year old days where I think it would be best that she started kindergarten TODAY and was gone all the time, but for the most part, she is a curious, spunky, sassy little princess that is just too cute for words most days....the days I don't want to strangle her that is!

Well I guess that's about it...I'm about as boring as could be right now. Just please pray that my Lyme is gone and no longer actively stressing my body. I'd like to be done with this chapter of my life. Maybe I'll write a book...God knows there are plenty of chapters already...

New Year!

2008 is gone...Welcome 2009!!!

I am excited beyond belief about this year!

I will become Lyme free!!

We will be financially and in all other ways FINALLY stable!

Katelyn will start preschool (bitter bitter sweet).

I turn 30 and leave my 20's behind (THANK GOD!!!).

Chris will celebrate 1 year of being a stinkin hott cop! I love a man in uniform...in case you didn't know! ;o)

I pray that this year we are blessed with yet another little baby. Only God knows when but I am hopeful for this year. As long as I am Lyme free I don't care when.

I have an amazing family that I love and love to spend time with.

I have amazing friends that challenge and inspire me every single day. I cherish you guys more than you know.

And the best part of it all is that I get to spend another year getting to know my Lord and Savior. My relationship with Him has never been better, yet could always be better and I look forward to growing in and with Him.

Thanks for stopping by and HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I hope you are as excited about this year as I am.

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Welcome to the world little Thaden Lewis! C's brother is now a Daddy! Thaden was born on the 31st and we could not be more excited to have another little cousin for Katelyn! She's the only girl but gets along great with the boys! Welcome Thaden you are so stinkin cute and we can't wait to hold and squeeze and love all over you! What a way to end 2008! Yea!!