Just cause...

....I wanna show off the beauty that is my daughter. She has been totally touching my heart lately. Despite her bratty-ness (which comes with the territory of 3.75 year old) she has such a wonderful spirit and heart. Her love for everyone and everything is infectious. I can't tell you how blessed I am to have been given this amazing gift of a daughter. If I never have another child I will die happy knowing that this precious little blessing was more than enough. She has touched so many people in so many different ways and most of all my own heart. I have learned so much from being her mom and continue to grow every single day. The Lord knew what He was doing (duh!!) giving her to me.

I love you sweet little miracle more than you'll ever know. Thank you for being you and being great. You are amazing!!

A little....

I saw this on someone else's blog, who borrowed it from someone else's blog; so I decided to let the borrowing continue :D

I AM ... excited about the future...for the first time.
I WANT… to be constantly mindful of what He is telling me.
I HAVE … a lot of love to give.
I KEEP... my heart guarded and don't let a lot of people TRULY in.
I WISH I COULD … sing in a church.
I HATE … it when I can't fix it.
I FEAR … not hearing what I should when I should and acting on it.
I HEAR …. beautiful music far too little.
I DON’T THINK … I could survive without Belief.
I REGRET … never taking chances growing up.
I LOVE … my life.
I AM NOT … ever going to look back.
I DANCE … far too little.
I SING … not nearly enough for others to hear...apparently.
I NEVER … want to say never again.
I RARELY … shower...its true.
I CRY WHEN I WATCH … "based on a true story" movies.
I AM NOT ALWAYS … rational.
I HATE THAT … I haven't finished school.
I’M CONFUSED ABOUT … when its ok to break a confidence.
I NEED …the hubby to be home now.
I SHOULD … go read my Bible.

Hope you enjoyed a little about me myself and I. It took a lot longer for me to fill out than I thought...

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...have you ever had so much to say but no words to say them with?

That's me right now.

I'm good at this blogging thing aren't I?!!

Well I have to say...this is pathetic. What's the point of a blog if I'm never on here and never post? Ahh well...

A lot has happened since I last posted. Where to begin....

I do NOT have Rocky Mountain Spotted fever. I have Lyme disease. Fun huh? I am on antibiotics right now and they seem to be keeping the symptoms at bay. They aren't totally gone but they are a lot less severe because of the medication. I go to the specialist on the 29th to figure out how to rid my body of this fantastic disease!

Chris is enjoying his new shift and schedule. Night shift. I am surprisingly ok with it all. It seems to work out best for us in the long run. He is gone while we sleep, he sleeps while we play and gets up in the afternoon to spend a good 5-6 hours with him before he leaves. That's more than we got to see him when he was working a regular 9-5 job...at least it seems that way because he is happy and its fun to be around him! ha!

Katelyn is having issues dealing with his absence. For most of her short little life her daddy was her night time buddy. He would bathe her, read her stories and put her to bed. Not every single night but most nights. Now, he isn't here at bed time and she has a hard time with it. Her sweet little spirit is so loving and warm that whenever anyone leaves she just melts. Her aunt (who is living with us) leaves for school and work and every time Katelyn follows her to the door telling her 50 times she loves her. "Have a nice day!" "I love you to the moon and back Lala!" Every. Single. Time. She does that with her daddy...she does that when I leave (on the rare occasion that I DO!). She has the most precious spirit. So loving, kind and never a stranger does she meet. I had a photo shoot sunday with an old friend from high school that Katelyn had never met. I had to take her with me (she's also a great assistant!!) because Chris was sleeping. Well, by the time we left, K had told my friend she loved her like 5 times. It was sweet. SO, all that to say...she hates it when people leave...especially her Daddy and it just breaks her heart. Oh how she loves him and never wants him to leave!!

In other news...it looks like the search for a place to live in the town of C's employment has come to a halt. Both C and I have felt the Lord keeping us here for now. We know and are willing to move whenever He says jump but right now, we feel Him keeping us grounded here. This will allow for us to get on our feet financially, be stable for a change and even put K in school next semester. So...we are super excited about this and just ready to hear what God has for us next.

Well...this computer has been sitting in front of me for a few hours now because of the 3 photo shoots from this weekend I had to process. I am finally DONE and am really ready to go read some before I hit the sack.

Thanks for stopping by!

The results are in....sorda

Okay...so my leave of absence is due to....Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever! Yea that's it!!

Well, as some of you may or may not know, I have been to the doctor lately. A lot. A rare occurrence unless pregnant or post op. I have never liked going to the doctor and it usually takes me months of feeling terrible before I do anything about it. Case in point my 3 month pulled back that FINALLY healed after going to a new PCP ( I hadn't been to a PCP since I was 18) and getting muscle relaxers to help heal me. So, I don't go to the docs. I've never really had a need....until recently.

About 2 weeks ago I started having major hearing problems. I've always had "slight" hearing loss and/or issues but this time I seriously thought I was going deaf. Conversations were very difficult and other sounds were just plain deafening. So, my dear friend suggested I come see the doc she works for (an ENT) and the first thing I should do in preparation for that is get a hearing test done.

So I did. And I have moderate hearing loss in both ears. DUH! I coulda told you that! My right ear is better than my left but still not where it should be for a gal my age...according to the ENT.

Well, I get my hearing tested and wait to see the ENT. While waiting for my appointment I start having these weird dizzy spells. They come on suddenly and last 2 days. The intensity of the "dizziness" subsides after a few hours but for about a day and half all I can do is lay around in bed for fear of falling down due to vertigo and/or running into the walls...which I did several times the first "episode". I have had two of the unexpected episodes in the last 2 weeks and I live in fear of the next one. Imagine this...if you can that is....being the absolute drunkest you have ever been JUST prior to the vomiting stage. Now stay that way for 7-8 hours. Yea. That's what the spells feel like. It's the worst. The episodes just come on without any warning and have me down for the count for 2 days. Then the next day and half I spend recovering and dizzy still. I have no clue as to what is causing all these weird things but we are on the right track because...

I just got off the phone with the results from my Monday's 7 vial blood draw to test for who knows what and found out that....

I have Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.

Doc isn't sure if that is the sole cause of my dizzy episodes but at least that could explain why I have been so lethargic for months now, crampy all. the. time., headaches that I can't get rid of and a general state of crappiness. This is a tick born illness and apparently last YEAR when I had those random bites on my abdomen that lasted 3months...yea. those were ticks. Laying in bed...woke up with the bites. I'm seriously grossed out.

So, next step...who knows. I was told you get rid of the bacteria that is the "fever" with antibiotics. Now I just wait to hear back from the doc and PRAY that I don't have another dizzy episode. I've had one a week since this whole thing started and have yet to have one this week...pray OH pray!!!

and FYI...no it isn't contagious. You can still be around me without fear! ha!

That's what's goin on im my little world...what about yours?

Lately....

I have been busy.

~Photo shoots galore (check here for proof) and processing of said shoots.

~Katelyn has been different these days as well. I can't explain it other than she is continually trying to adjust to her daddy's ever changing training schedule. Its hard for her to not ever see her daddy and when she does she's so tired she just "wiggs" out and can't seem to calm down. I pray that after these next 9 weeks we find some sort of trick that helps ease her little missing heart and his schedule will be one that favors well for all of us.

~Money stinks...Lack of money stinks even more. And when the cause of your lack of money is your lack of responsiblity, its sucks a big one. Go US!!

Here is the latest little pix of me and my girl. I don't take my picture too often but when I do, I like to insure the cutesness by adding my sweetness!

Thanks for stoppin by! And don't forget to leave me a comment! It makes me happy!

Is it time yet?

So, among the most bittersweet moments of my life, today pretty much took the cake and left me speechless. My dear little K started her very first dance class. She was soooo excited!! She was bouncing around the house all morning. Getting dressed way too early! Creating her own dance moves and getting us to watch each and every one. Asking where dance class the whole way to the studio. She told every girl that walked in the waiting area that she was going to dance. She even went as far as to walk up to her teacher and tell her that she was going to listen to what she was going to tell her. (We discussed this previously!) The teacher was going around the room fixing the ballet shoes by cutting off the strings and tucking them into their shoes and K was so proud to have her shoes already fixed up ready to go! She pointed this out to her teacher. (I read the instructions accompanied with the dancing application. It's not genius stuff here. Just follow the directions for uniform info and you'll be good!) She made several new best friends today and she couldn't have been more happy. It was a proud moment for this mom.

Here she was JUMPING out of the car and up onto the sidewalk. Had I not stopped her to take a picture she would have already been to the door!!
And for once she actually let me take her picture with her smiling! Happiness will do that to ya!

Moments before walking into her dance room. Sometimes I can't believe how amazing this little person is. Amidst all the brattyness that is every three year old, there is a sweet, caring, brave, talented, beautiful little girl growing up before my eyes and not slowing down for a minute.

I wish I had a picture of her as she came out of the room. Her face was lit up and she was smiling from ear to ear. The first words out of her mouth before I even had a chance to ask were "I had so much fun!" It brings me such joy to make her happy in such a simple way.

And this post wouldn't be complete without a little brattyness of my own...captured as we waited for K to finish her lesson.

Thanks for stoppin by!

SURPRISE!

10 "things" you might care to read...or not...

10. I have been working out now for 2 months. I'm not doing it loose weight I am doing it for energy and to actually fit back into my clothes.. After my last loss and surgery I decided that I didn't care to watch what I ate and didn't cook hardly at all. Read FAST FOOD! My ever so eager fat greedy belly decided to take it all in. I am by no means fat, just needed a little toning and fat loss in the post baby and 4 surgery midsection. Mission is yet to be accomplished...clothes are starting to "sorta" fit again...maybe another 2 months and goal will be acheived...wish me luck!

9. My new favorite artist is Plumb. I love melodic tunes like her. She seems so real and I love that about artists.

8. Is being SUPER organized considered anal? Because I think I may be borderline.

7. My sister is now living with us. She brings to the house another cat and LOTS of fun clothes! I'm excited! Now I just need to loose 3 inches in height to fit into ALL her stuff!

6. Cops are HOTT! Or maybe just the one inparticular. Seriously...who doesn't love a man in uniform?!

5. Almost 30 year olds should NOT be having the worst acne of their lives...right?

4. You should read Eat Right for Your Blood Type. It seriously made so much sense to me. Who knew I would actually start eating cow and feeling great while doing it?!

3. K put herself down for a nap this afternoon. We are making progress! At 3 and half its about time she start doing that!

2. K put herself down for a nap today....she is growing up. *tear*

1. I randomly break out in weird voices that sometimes, if not all times weird people out. I've always done it and I think I may have scarred my sister permantly. Just ask her...she'll tell you about the voices growing up.

Randomness is always fun...anyone else?



Thanks for stoppin by!

in case you wanted to know...

...here is what I look like today.

First of all, I have been growing my hair out for several months now and was ready for a change. In case you didn't know, I LOVE change. Its a problem I have...but its how I am and isn't going to change any anytime soon. SOOOO while the growing out process occurs...and girls you KNOW how frusterating this period is...my FABULOUS hair dresser and I decided to cut some bangs. Apparently the are making a come back and my big forehead is excited to be covered up! So there ya have it...bangs.

And if you look closely you'll see a surprising little piece of jewelry on my not so little nose! Yup...that's right! I did it. I pierced my nose. I have toyed with the idea for more than 2 years now and just recently got up the courage to do it. Crazy huh?! C actually really likes it and K thinks its so cute! ha! No it didn't hurt, yes it takes some getting used to and no it doesn't bother me except when I blow my nose and dry my face. It's funky fresh!

C is currently at work. On the streets. Being a cop. I started crying today just thinking about what could possibly happen. I do this ever so often to keep the reality of his job fresh in my mind. I know he is safe...2 guns, 2 knives, a shotgun and mega bp-vest...but his job is not to be taken lightly. He will be dealing with some not so good people at not so good hours of the day. I have such an amazing amount of pride for police officers now. Its funny how fast your opinions can change when you come into contact with so many different officers. They are out there busting their butts each and every day. They wear the most uncomfortable, black, cotton/wool blend (aka HOT) uniforms. Their gear weighs an additional gazillion pounds (trust me...I've picked everything up and felt the weight) and they have to wear boots! BOOTS! In 107 degree weather they are wearing wool and boots. Think about that...it makes me sweat just to think about it! Not to mention the fact that every person who comes in contact with a cop is typically in trouble and most likely hating them.

****phone call*****

okay. so I'm done being on my small soap box about cops. I like cops and I'm not ashamed to say it. Just remember, they are all normal people just like my hubby. They aren't all egotistical power hungry jerks.

how was your day?

what changes have you made?

new days ahead

I am trying out this blogger thing once again seeing how typepad (even though I PAY for it) is not working out too well...so...we'll see how this works for now!

I am wanting to get organized with my photography business. I am such a newbie when it comes to the technology side of things and I feel it is hindering my advancing in the business. Any suggestions? I am good at the basic photoshop skills; I haven't even made any business cards; I need a business plan and I don't even have a laptop. I guess I have finally mentally shifted from "just for friends" to full blown business (wannabe.) I just need to have a game plan and prepare myself for a business rather than a hobby. It's gonna take some time...and maybe a class or two.

On a personal note, please keep my dear hubby in your prayers. He starts his shift work as of tomorrow and this means he is on the streets. Being a cop is what God made him to be. I trust that our Heavenly Father will without a doubt protect him. It just never hurts to send out some extra prayers now and then!!

Katelyn starts her very first dance class next week! She is so excited she can't even stand it! I can't wait to see her on stage in her cute little costume dancing away! I'll be crying...you watch. I will cry. It is just so bittersweet that I don't even have words to express how I am feeling right now. I have this amazing little person engaging more and more in regular kid things and I get so excited every time I see her advancing. Yet, she is quite possibly our only little miracle and that makes me sad. Yet it makes me happy at the same time. If she IS our only child, God has amazing things in store for our little family. If there ARE more chitlins in our future, He has amazing things in store for our litle family. So I guess I am at a perfect place for whatever God has in store....time will only tell what is going to happen in our little family's life!