Where's the CHRIST in Christmas?

I'm gonna be pretty honest here. It's not every day that I am honest....wait. just kidding! But seriously...this has been weighing on me lately and I don't know what to do about it.

Since last year, I have been wondering something. Where has the Christ in CHRISTmas gone? I mean as the saying goes, "Jesus is the reason for the season" but honestly, I don't see that attitude out there in the world. I see the "gimme gimme gimme" attitudes of people and the "look how much I can afford (or not afford for most) for christmas this year." Then there's Santa. Albeit a fun holiday tradition that either elicits sheer terror as captured by many a camera or allows children to think there are little flying deer flying around dropping a 250 pound man down chimneys. I am ALL for imagination. I LOVE creating fun worlds with K and exploring those worlds with her. Yet, somehow, I find it rather hard to play into this character while the "reason for the season" has nothing whatsoever to do with a man in a red suit carrying presents for us all to open and discard so easily.

I know I may sound like a scrooge but for some reason this year has been different. I go out into public, and everywhere I go, I get rude people angrily driving around like their house is on fire and they have to get there like two minutes ago. When walking around stores I find rude employees who won't even look you in the eye and even more hurried, stressed, non friendly eyed people hastily shopping for that "perfect" gift. Since when did Jesus need a Nintendo DS? I mean really? Aren't we supposed to be celebrating HIS birth and what that means?

HE has already given me the absolute most amazing gift I could ever ask for. The giving of massive amounts of gifts on what may or may not truly be His birthday just seems so trivial to me these days. This season should be one of happiness, joy, and humble celebration for the amazing person that we get to love and worship on a daily basis. I think the question we should be asking is, what gift does HE want? What does Christ want from us because quite frankly, there is nothing I can ever do to repay His amazing gift of life and going into debt buying things for other people isn't a step in the right direction.

I'm just not sure spending hundreds of dollars on mindless gifts and feeling guilty for spending too much is a proper way for us to be celebrating His birthday. And honestly, I'm not sure what we ARE supposed to be doing.

But, that's just my little opinion.

blog funk

I have opened my blogger several times this past week and just stared at it. I don't really have much to say and what i have to say most likely can't be written on here.....these intranets have eyes! hahaha! sorry.

what's been going on?? well, ive been busy trying to drum up some photo business all the while keeping my house clean for showings, studying for finals next week, homeschooling katelyn, shopping for christmas, getting a workout in, and packing for our january move. I think I need to start taking speed so I don't need sleep. that way i can get loads done! haha!
I'm just boring and blah today.

contemplative

I'm currently composing a tell all about a friendship that went south this past september. it sucks when any relationship ends. this one in particular bothers me a lot. i was accused of a lot and chose not to confront her because in doing so, i would have had to stoop to her level. i chose not to.

it just makes me think.

as I continue to clean out my house, i think sometimes God does the same with our lives. He takes the clutter out as well as those that bring the clutter. I'm thankful for that removal.

yet, why do i keep thinking about it? on a daily basis I think about this situation. the way things ended, the way she accused me of things that she wouldn't go into detail on (all via email), the way she treated me (the matron of honor in her wedding) during the wedding, the way she noticed my different behavior over the last few years but never bothered to ask me about it. had she bothered, she would have known that my marriage was crumbling, i was devastated at the loss of 4 pregnancies, and all the other details that she never really cared to ask about.

i guess that's what bothers me the most. the fact that had we really even been that good of friends, she would have asked me if everything was ok instead of judging me for my irregular behavior.

let this be a lesson to me. if something seems different, there's usually a reason.

and, those that love you and truly know you, will be there through thick and thin. not notice things then secretly ridicule you for those things that they have no clue as to the reason for their existence.

I'm more than thankful for my faithful God given friends. Those are the ones that have lasted through the cleanout.

I'm off to bed....govt test tomorrow and lots of cleaning around here afterwards. our realtor comes on wednesday to take some photos.

thanks for stoppin by!

okay okay...more mindless blogs...just cause

Four jobs I have had in my life:

Babysitter/nanny
Medical records tech
Victoria's secret sales associate
MOM

Four movies I would watch over and over:

Pride & Prejudice
13 Going on 30
Princess Bride
Dumb and Dumber

Four places I have lived:

Arlington Texas
San Antonio Texas
Great Falls Montana
Mansfield Texas

Four TV Shows that I watch: (Currently)

Private Practice
Grey's Anatomy
One Tree Hill
How's it Made
Four places I have been:

In 4 states all at once!
Washington DC
Mexico...and not the pretty part
Fargo ND

Four People who e-mail me (regularly)

My mom
Facebook notifications
yahoo homeschooling group notifications
....and ummmm noone else. sad and pathetic

Four of my favorite foods:

bread & butter
bread and butter
baked sweet potatos with lots of butter
pizzza (i'm really a healthy eater....REALLY!!!)

Four places I would rather be right now:

outta this house and in my new place
sitting next to Chris
laying in my bed
out of debt

Four things I am looking forward to in the next year:

Exploring my new town with Katelyn
going on a vacation with just my man...its never happened in our 8 years of marriage.
swimming in our awesome pool at our new apartment complex!!
maybe training with a new friend for a triathelon


Four top books I've read the past year:

I don't remember any of them....
well if you count all the kids books I've read...


Four favorite songs:

Secrets by OneRepublic
Breathe Again by Sara Bareilles
Let the Drummer Kick by Citizen Cope
Regret by Glow


Four things you like about yourself:
(This otta be good cause I'm pretty hard on myself)

I'm loyal (to a fault my mother always says)
A good cook ("The bestest cooker i've ever had!!!"-Katelyn)
ummmmm i have a six pack. :) like for real. :) and i like that.
......that's all i can think of right now.....



OKAY!! I need to get to bed...I'm headed to the gym early in the am cause its the only time I will be able to get a workout in tomorrow. I'm excited just not about the hour....I workout best in the evening. But, I'll be there and will be doing something rather than nothing at home!

Hope all is well in your world! Thanks for stoppin by!

just cause....

I'm sittin here wasting time....got my best friend's baby asleep in the other room, my girl is helpin her daddy clean out the closet and well, i just wanted to sit for a few minutes...so, viola! enjoy my randomness.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? nope
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? tuesday....everything was weighin me down.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? depends on the pen i am using. but overall, yes.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? turkey or turkey pastrami
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 1 amazing daughter....who often feels like more than one kid!
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? on my non pmsing days....sure!
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? I don't even know the meaning of the word.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? yup
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? depends....on how brave i was feeling at the time. i. hate. heights.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? being gluten free....honey nut chex
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? not unless i can't get them off without it.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? getting there physically and emotionally i'm a battle hardened soldier....so yes emotionally. ha
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? blue bell pistachio almond!! my dad and i could share a whole half gallon!
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? whether or not they smile and make eye contact.
15. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? my acne...at almost 32 you'd think it wouldn't still be around. alas....its worse than when i was in junior high. also, i don't like how easily i get annoyed with certain things. my goal is to let things be like water off a ducks back.
16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? right now, my brother and his family. in a couple of months....everyone.
17. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? my fav pair of jeans that are tissue thin and my new nike grey/pink awesomeness
18. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? scrambled eggs with onions and tomoatos...yum!
19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? papers rustling around in the other room. c and k are cleaning out his closet.
20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? aqua. just cause....
21. FAVORITE SMELLS? clean laundry, anything baking, and my hub after he has showered.
22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Our realtor.
23. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? volleybal followed by a close footballl then hockey then track and i like swimming and gymnastics and oh yea...basketball. i enjoy sports. :)
24. HAIR COLOR? ummmmm well, i was dark brown, then got highlights now those highlights are growing out. so, lots of shades.
25. EYE COLOR? light honey colored brown.
26. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? yup.
27. FAVORITE FOOD? bread and butter. i could eat it all day long. too bad gluten free bread is nasty and butter is dairy. of which, i can't eat.
28. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? im leaning towards happy endings theses days. i hear enough scary crap from being acop's wife that the sappy happy endings that are so not reality are very appealing.
29. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Jim Carrey's Grinch movie.
30. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? heather grey...my fav
31. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer because i love to swim and be tan...winter bc i LOVE sleeping when its freezing and i love winter clothes.
32. HUGS OR KISSES? hugs....big warm cozy squeezes.
33. FAVORITE DESSERT? too many to choose from. i like dessert.
34. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Horizon's homeschooling parent guide.
35. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? don't have one....its a lap top.
36. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? how its made.
37. FAVORITE SOUND? baby laughter, music that moves me, and the door opening in the morning telling me that my love is home safe and sound.
38. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? ..........
39. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Helena Montana
40. HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Predicting the future...seriously....its creepy.
41. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Dallas Texas...raised in Arlington.


Feel free to copy it and post on your blog! I'd love reading them.

thanks for stoppin by!

cleaning out

two days ago we started cleaning out our house. sorting through all the cabinets in the kitchen, the junk drawers in the entertainment center and well, that's about as far as we've gotten. but BOY have we gotten rid of a ton of junk! I'm finding this cleanse very therapeutic. like i said in an earlier post, things around here are changing. almost 8 years of collecting things that don't matter and holding on to things that at the time gave us comfort. well, these things are no longer needed. right now, all we need is a fresh start. a start that allows us to be as free and clear as we need to be with reminders of yesteryears gone.

therapy.

yes. its been like therapy for me. cleaning out the few drawers and cabinets that i have so far has spurred many memories that i had not thought about in years....it has made me throw stuff away that had i not gotten to the place in my life that these last almost 8 years have gotten me to, i would have still shoved that thing back into that drawer only to continue to clutter things. clutter......that's how i have felt about my life. i loathe clutter. i loathe disorganization. its breeds choas and confusion and that has no place in my life right now. i want to organize and minimize. i'm afraid that during all this organizationfest, the container store will love me so much they keep the store open once a week just for me. :-) but that's comforting to me right now. i'm excited about cleaning out things because in the process, i feel like i'm cleaning out my life and that's a great feeling.

and because of this, i made a huge decision today. i took my pregnancy bible (yes its called that), my baby name book, and my what to expect during the first year book and put it in the garage sale pile. along with, all my maternity clothes. i didn't cry. i didn't really dwell. just decided that you know what, its time to move on. After years of not using birth control and spending way too much money and tears on negative pregnancy tests, i HAVE decided to move on. i've decided that its time to quit holding on to the past life that i've tried so hard to hold on to. honestly, it was a life i longed for that never came to fruition. nonetheless, as long as i hold on to that life, God can't move me into THIS life. the life He's been pruning me, us for. THIS life is just beginning and the past is just that....past.

so no tears. no sorrow.

just, happy. 


now on to more cleaning out....thanks for stoppin by!

pix

Let's try this again..... here are a few from yesterday. Not too many but still a glimpse of our crazy evening.

His very first turkey carving!!



Our very first Thanksgiving table.



Well, we can't ever be serious...



My nose looks about as big as my head...lovely

My little bros Ben and Dee playin the Kinects!

Little Luke came to the party too.

Sisily and Pops.

More Kinects!

Littlest bro and littlest sis.

HAHAHA!! K warming her toosh.

Thanksgiving

Yesterday was a fantastic day. We have so much to be thankful for these days that it was overflowing yesterday as my family came over for the holiday. It was our first time hosting a large meal and we both think it was a great success. Everyone got enough food, we all had fun, the fire was roaring, and Chris loved having a normal family get together. I was thankful he enjoyed himself so much. It was great seeing him so happy for the first time in a very long time. It was a bittersweet happiness but happy nontheless.

This morning we headed over to one of my best friend's new and beautiful homes for an after thanksgiving brunch. It was yummy!

We did brave the black friday world this afternoon. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but then again I wasn't out at the booty crack of the am hours. And, we only needed to get a watch band for Chris so we weren't weeding through the toys trying to find the leapster somethingorother. :)

Right now I'm hangin on the couch surfing websites about nothing because apparently all this gluten I've been eating is not agreeing with my stomach or intestines. I've got tons of things to and I feel like throwing up....lovely. Good food comes at a price for me. Hip to the hooray.

 Well, I am trying to upload some thanksgiving pics but the uploader isn't letting me. dumb.

hmmmmm

I want to start a fun blog post. in this post i want to do something fun. like susie who is posting a daily shoe challenge. There is also the 10 on Tuesday. There's a photo a day postings. But I want to do someting original.

Coming up with this idea is not as easy as I thought.

I thought, "silly saturday" where i post something fun/silly for viewing pleasure. dumb

Then i thought i'd take a picture, crop it and have people guess what the picture is. But with no prize or no reward for your guesses, who's gonna come back and guess all the time?

So, for now, I am brainstorming and accepting ideas for a fun new creative way to blog that is original.

enjoy your saturday! I am doing laundry and playing spiderman with my 5 year old daughter. yup. she's awesome!

trying

i'm trying to be better at blogging. however i'm not really sure why. I have about 3 people that i know follow this and comment but really, who cares? I've got nothing profound to say and even if i did, i think that i wouldn't be able to say it as eloquently as i may want to. so, for you 3 faithful followers, here's what's on my mind...

....i'm really tired today. i have a problem of forgetting to eat....and when you work out every single day, the day after you workout AND forget to eat, you're kinda tired. So, I'm takin a break from the gym today. tomorrow will be kick booty though!

....i'm really proud of my husband. like so proud i can't stand it. i'm amazed at how much he has endured over his lifetime and still has the attitude and outlook on life and people that he does. he should be a rebellious man who is still sowing his wild oats and cussing everyone out who he meets that doesn't think like him. but, he doesn't. he remains calm, collected and simply amazing every single day. in love!!

....my heart still longs to be pregnant. after 4 losses and no real reason for me to not be pregnant, my body is craving the feeling pregnancy brings. the little feet pushing my ribs, the hiccups that keep you awake, the heartbeat on the monitor and all those quirky pregnancy feelings that a lot of moms complain about. i guess you don't realize what you have when you have it easily. so for now, if you are pregnant, please don't complain to me about all those symptoms. tomorrow maybe. just not today. i'd kill to have those "problems" today.

....katelyn is SOARING through her lessons and soaking up sooooo much information in our little homeschool. even outside of school. i am completely amazed at how fast she is learning all this information! she is sounding out words on her own and spelling them; she is reading sentences, writing addition problems and simply yearning for more. God told us to pull her out of public school and boy he wasn't kidding! He knew she needed the one on one time to gain her confidence and have a little bit of pride her abilities. I'm so proud of her.

....lyme disease will always be a part of my life. And honestly, I am thankful for it. It was a terrible almost three years of pain, depression, anger, marital issues, bad parenting and just feeling like i was a no good person. But through all that, I gained so much knowledge, grew in the Lord, have been able to help others and have a new respect for the human body. as much as i hate that stupid bacteria, I am thankful for the experience that it gave me and all the lessons I learned in the process.

.....and now i'm off to clean my bathroom. exciting. i know. don't be too jealous.

thanks for stopping by!

bittersweet

Today I am happy yet with a heavy heart. Is that really possible....yes it is. You see, things change. They change all the time. This change has been almost 8 years in the making and its been an incredibly hard road to endure. But we've endured it. And today, we are happy. Maybe truly for the first time. That demon is gone and that demon will never be seen again. Growth, perseverance, endurance and lots and LOTS of prayer have brought us to where we are today. This day. This day that we are happy. This day that makes the rest all seem like a distant memory.

But the happiness is not without its change as well. Change that is a necessary step for healing and growth beyond our comprehension as we embark on this free road. With this change, hearts are broken, lives are forever different and family is lost.

My prayer for this day is that somewhere in the very near future, lives will be healed and families be brought back together because this is what HE wants. HE will have to do all this and I look forward to following this new path HE has laid before us.

Because YOU are worth it. Becuase YOU heal all wounds and YOU are amazing God.

A terrible web cam picture of my wet hair, katelyn's chocolate face and chris's red crusty "cold" nose. But we ARE happy.

Praise God.

To fill in the gap

Its been FOREVER since I've posted but this should be about what you should expect from me at this point. I love to journal and all that jazz but I just am not too good at the computer journaling...pen an dpaper is my preferred method of journaling. But, instead of trying to write the novel of all that has happened in the last few months, I stole this from my friend Susie on her blog. It just seemed fun!

enjoying: a toffee mocha from Starbucks

watching: Katelyn coloring in her new coloring book

eating: nothing

feeling: at peace

looking forward to: our future

wearing: tank top, jeans, and glasses

needing: my water running so i can take a shower, do the dishes, and go potty

wanting: to have enough money to do the things I want to do for all those that I love

missing: running water

Laughing: at Chris's frustration over a game of SOLITAIRE

working on: editing photos, folding the MOUNDS of laundry I have and planning the first Thanksgiving at my house

cooking: nothing. you need water for just about everything and I have none.

craving: the gym. weird i know....but the gym

grateful: for my Heavenly Father and His enduring faithfulness even when I doubt.

smiling: at my life. the pieces are starting to fall into place and I can't wait for what's next.

Well, I'm off to go find a bathroom. Ha! Don't eve take your toilets for grantid....cause we don't have the use of ours right now and its a chore just to go potty.

Have a great Wednesday and HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIAN!!! Hope your day is fabulous and I can't wait to see you hopefully next week!!

Picture update!

Well, I haven't uploaded any pictures in like FOREVER! So, i think i will now. Bare with me...

Here is my girl on her last day of preschool and at her graduation. I cried. I'm not ashamed to admit it. She is getting so grown up....I just can't believe she starts kindergarten in like 6 weeks.

Next up we have K's first visit to a beach! She had a BLAST!! I didn't get a whole lot of pictures of her doing this, but her favorite thing to do was search for sea shells. And boy did she find them!

The first moment she stepped into the water....I love her expression. :o) What a cutie!

Toes in the sand!!

I love this picture of K and I....its bright but I just love it! :o)

Here are so random shots of us. K got her face painted at Fry's of all places. She was an exotic Cat. Shocked....I think not! She did NOT want to wash this off that night.

THese last ones were taken by the princess herself! She grabbed the camera and went crazy one day. I loved the results!

Well, that's all I got right now...I'm headed to do some pilates!

Fast times at the "S" household

WOW! I am great at this bloggin bit! I can't sleep so I guess updating this blog is as good as anything to do!

I guess you could say that me sharing my random thoughts and ideas and feelings to the masses on the internet (of which 3 of you actually read and care!) has been kinda low on my priority list these days.

What HAS been on my list of things to do???

Here goes...

-School ending for both K and I. 3.0 isn't bad my first semester back after 10 years!
-Week long trip to Houston to visist the FIL and SMIL. Great trip! K saw the beach for the very first time! (Pix to soon follow)
-K and I did VBS one week which started me thinking about a possible change of major and career.
-Which, I did end up doing!
-I have been accepted to and plan on attending UTA in the spring and will graduate with a degree in Interdisciplinary studies going on to teach 4-8th graders! Crazy but true. I will be a teacher! God is good and quite funny at times!
-We had our carpets cleaned and in the process decided to switch K's room, paint all the walls in the house, rearrange our ENTIRE house and weed out junk in the process. It's been almost 2 weeks since we started this project and I'm pretty sure we have quite a ways to go til we are done. But, its been an awesome process and quite freeing. Our room is the best its ever been, K has a room that she LOVEs with a bunk bed and PINK everywhere! We are finally embracing this thing called decorating....and I'm a happy camper!
-Sweet friend J's bachelorette party a couple of weekends ago. (Again-pix to follow) Sooo much fun!
-FIL and SMIL came for a week long visit that ended monday morning. We had a blast and K got to spend the night in their motorhome. She had a BLAST and I got to spend the night hangin with C at work all night. SUPER tired the next day but it was sooo worth it. I love getting to see him on the job and hang out with his buddies.
-This week I am busy preparing for Long time BFF's long awaited bridal shower here at my house. She has waited 13 years for this guy to propose and he FINALLY did. So, she deserves this showering!

That's what I have been up to....and it doesn't stop there.

I tell you what...being Matron of honor in 2 weddings and a bridesmaid in a third has been a ride. Back to back to back weddings is CRAZY!! One is time consuming enough...I'm in 3. BFFx2 and my sister. All equally important. I will say this...I have gotten to buy some pretty awesome dresses for all the showers and festivities! Oh and heels to match! I'm beyond excited about that for sure!

I think I am going to attempt this sleep thing again....its 5 am and K will be up soon. Wish me luck!
What's been happenin in your world these days?!!

randomness

i'm tyoing this blogpost because i don't want to do my chemistry homework. I just DON'T! I have very much enjoyed my time away from school work. Although I do enjoy school, its nice to not have to study. But alas, tuesday doth approach and I fear I must get back to reality. My GPA is depending on me!

And so, instead of reading my chapter 7 about solutes and and solutions, electrolytes and the like, I sit and watch the Hallmark channel while surfing facebook and writing this blog. I'll get to it eventually but for now, I am still enjoying my spring break. ....did i just admit to watching Hallmark? Ahh well...it is what it is!

A lot has happened since last updated on here.

Katelyn turned 5. Yes its true....children DO get older and they DO grow up and she WILL one day leave. Depression has truly set in in that regard. It just makes me a bit sad. For sooo many reasons actually. I have gotten used to having my little hang out buddy with me 24/7. Grantid she is in school 3 days a week this year but still...she's with me ALL THE TIME! At times I could use a break but for the most part, I kind alike havin this little person to talk to all the time, to play with, to be silly with and to have with me. She is fun, energentic, loving, silly, caring, beautiful and just a downright cool kid. I'm gonna miss her soooooo much come August 23rd.

Enough of that.....I don't want to cry.

I turned 31. Yup...no big deal. 30 was awesome. I was soooo excited to turn 30 and leave all that crap behind me. 31....ehhh. No biggie. Just another day actually. HOWEVER!! We did celebrate our 7th anniversary on that day as well! Hard to believe but its true. We have endured a LOT during our 7 years. A LOT. I am not complaining by any means...rejoicing actually. Those trials and tribulations have gotten us to where we are today and I am so thankful for them. I continue to see the grace of God in all that we do and go through together and I can't help but be excited for what He is doing today. It will be a rocky road still but once things mellow out and we both see the amazing work of God in in all, it will be wonderful. God is faithful and all I can do is continue to pray that He will be the guiding force for our marriage. 7 years is simply a drop in the bucket for the life we will share together. Makes me happy to think about!

Well, I think I have wasted enough time on here....I think I will start doing my chem homework. Whaddya think??!!

Thanks for stoppin by!

Manic Mondays

-My best friends sip-n-see went well yesterday. I struggle with wanting to do it ALL and have soooo much to give, but we just couldn't do that this time. Having a budget allows for not much wiggle room.

-I dropped my govt class. It was significantly kicking my butt and making me feel like I was retarded all the while. So...in light of me finding out I do NOT need this class for a nursing degree and that it will NOT affect my scholarship, I dropped that class as fast as you can say FREEDOM!

-The laundry in my house is at an all time high. Seriously...I can't remember the last time its been this bad. Spring break will be my catch up WEEK for all that stuff. Being in school AND a stay at home mom is hard. I don't know how moms who work AND go to school do it. I'd just about need to be on speed to get anything done!

-Prayer works right...?

-Katelyn turns 5 on saturday. 5. I'm kinda in shock about it all to be quite honest. I can't believe that come September she will be enrolled in kindergarten and I won't see her during the day anymore.

-Being a police officer's wife still has its adjustments....and some days, I long for 9-5.

-I think I am addicted to Dr. Pepper. And I'm not ashamed.

-I will turn 31 in a week...and on that very day we will celebrate our 7 year anniversary. 7...never thought it possible! ha! What's this about a 7 year itch?? I've heard it before and want more info...

and now for an oldie...K and her friend J on the hammock! My little girl is not so little any more...

---Off to do the thousands of loads of laundry WHILE fitting in some study time....back to reality.

Thanks for stoppin by!

my-ness

my life seems to be a giant series of breaks these days. where katelyn just seems to want "snacks" all the time, i need "breaks" all the time. just don't seem to be getting them.

my life seems to be increasingly choatic these days and i can't seem to get a break from all the busyness.

my house is getting lost in piles and piles of laundry that can't seem to make it either into the washer/dryer or into the appropriate spot of residence.

my homework is kickin this 30 year old booty as well. i know it will get easier but juggling this mom-hood with a husband's crazy schedule and all the studying i have been doing...i've just not quite adjusted yet.

my stress level is at an all time high...my acne is proof.

my husband's familial issues seem to be compounding every day...there is a bit of a reprieve in certain areas but 2 out of 3 are still at odds. I'm just not sure how to help, if i even can any more.

my husband and i are about to celebrate our 7th anniversary in early march. where some are worried about the "seven year itch", i am hopeful for a new beginning with us. lucky seven as it were. it's been rocky to say the least and i am prayerful for restoration and a new found renewal of our once ever so powerful burning-yearning love. i desperately need that passion back. it has been long since squelched by multiple loss, job change galore, too many moves in 6 years, family issues upon family issues, money problems brought on by not only ourselves but most of the above mentioned things and an overall laissez faire attitude towards "us". we need to start making more of an effort for quality time with each other. outside of all the stress and drama we encounter each day. we need to go on a honeymoon for the first time EVER. we tend to think about and act for others before we take care of one other and that needs to change. don't get me wrong, he is so much the love of my life, my soul mate, my other half. i am not myself without him and i can't imagine my life without him. he is an amazing father and a wonderful provider. i am so in love with him its crazy. just somewhere in all the mess of what has been our life, we lost "us" and how to be just that.

my daughter is trying my every bit of patience......i guess this stressed out thing is quite a cause as well. i'm just not the best at handling the constant arguing nature she exhibits, the whiney behavior when she doesn't get her way and her constant need to talk my ear off. yet she'll still melt my heart with her sweetness. ahh the ups and downs of motherhood with one ever so simliar to myself.

my emotions are all kinds of out of wack. i am angry one minute, crying at a COMMERCIAL the next and sitting emotionless 2 seconds later. it's quite QUITE annoying.

with all the "my's", i found some peace this evening. it came out of nowhere and came as a surge of hope. the result....
....asimplelittlebox.
a box to place all my stressors and worries of the day in. a box that symbolizes the alter of my heavenly Father. oh how i long to be able to simply lay it all there for Him to take and heal for me. for Him to carry for me. maybe i don't quite know how to do all that or even at times feel like i deserve that from Him.

but this box will hold all my worries and i won't look back. every day i will write them down, file them away, and go about my day. this seems to be the only way i will survive this mess of stress we've got goin on around here.

thank You Lord for the small grace you have shown. for turning the "my" into YOU! for the small amount of peace You have given me during this time.

i am so undeserving of it....

and sooo

....there is so much going on in my head right now that I fear what will happen if I start writing. I am not even sure it will make sense to anyone when written down for others to read. I just need to head to bed and let my dreams interupt my melancoly-ness.

let's just say that once in a blue moon I get "blue" over the simple yet oh so complex fact that I have 4 babies in heaven, 1 here with me and a future that is still so unclear.

off to bed.............or else pity will start to happen and I refuse to allow that negativity to set in.

and today...

is the last day of "freedom" that I have before.....

...i spend the next 3.5 years behind this desk studying. I have about a year before I will Lord willing get accepted into nursing school then a semester or 2 to finish the prereqs for that. Then 2 solid full time years of nursing school!

It's my newest endeavor and one that I am praying will get me closer to where He wants me.

I'm truly excited and a little (ok maybe a lot) nervous to be going back into school. It's been over 7 years since I set foot in a classroom and I was 23 at the time. Oh how this time will be soooo different!

But here is the desk when we first got it. Ugly handles and all. The little project was so fun!

thanks for stoppin by...and if I don't update for a long long while...its because I am sitting at my desk, studying!

weird wednesday

Today has been a weird day....and so, in continuing with the weirdness, I shall write random things.
1) I didn't win the bag. Lame.
2) I start school next tuesday!!! YIKES! I am getting nervous but oh so excited its annoying. Seriously. I think I'm annoying every one around me with my excitement. I think I need to stop writing about it right now due to my enthusiasm right now.....
3) How do you involve yourself but not to the point of annoying? And when does one cross the line to narcacism?
4) God works (as the clique saying goes) in mysterious ways and at times I am baffled at what in the world He is doing.
5) How can a person be a friend to someone who doesn't know what that means?
6) I need advice on how to wake up earlier when I am soooo used to sleeping in. I haven't had quiet time in too long to want to admit to and that needs to change. Like NOW
7) I am starting a book club that i am totally excited about.
8) My semester includes but is not limited to...planning 3 parties including a 5 year old bday party, a Sip-n-see for my bestie and a coming home party for my one of my other friends. OH and did I mention that happens in a one week time frame? I also am involved in the planning of my sister's wedding scheduled for early August. Matron of honor sounds so OLD! Also, being involved in my other bestie's wedding and all that that entails being a bridesmaid adds more to the days. I'm super excited about it all....but looking at it like that is a bit daunting.
9) Would you do something if it meant for certain there would be hurt feelings involved?
10) I need quiet time now more than ever. Lord be with me...my undeserving soul.

this turned into a really weird jumbled up bunch of statements and questions

thus is my life these days.

and what happened to the spell check button??

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Ok so its a little bit after the day but wishes are sent your way anyways!

Its been a super busy year already. Fun but busy.

New Year's Eve was a blast! We went out to eat with my friends and Chris actually got to go! But he had to leave before dinner was even over because he had to go to work... :o( Then after dinner we spent time at a friends house talking and playing games til the ball dropped! It was fun.

New Year's day was spent traveling to Houston for my nephew's first birthday party!!! My little traveler did fantastic and we had a blast getting there. While there we totally enjoyed visiting with family and getting to see my nephew.

We then headed back home and had a great time traveling again! Katelyn does such a great job driving. Although she does ask many time when we will get there, she never complains and is super easy going. She is true joy to drive with.

That was this weekend...just a few days ago! Wow! It seems so long ago!! Ha!

K went back to school Tuesday and was totally wiped all day today. But she sure does love school.

Speaking of, I start school on the 19th! Ahhh! I am totally excited and ready for the challenge. Chris and I are busy redoing a FREE desk we just got. We spent all last night sanding it and the drawers and today we went to Lowe.s and got all the supplies to paint it, add new fictures and put a glass top in. It is going to look awesome! I will post before and after pictures once we are finished. It is going to look aweosome! Perfect size for computer, work and books. Totally blessed by this little desk!

I am also doing a online book club. SUPER excited about it. Just click on the BLOOM square on the top of my blog and you can find out all about it.

Well, I am off to do some more voting :o)!!! I am entered in a New Year's resolution contest. SO GO VOTE FOR ME!!!

#31

http://www.infulsight.com/kmooreblog/?p=38

Scroll down to the number 31 and vote and vote and vote and vote and vote!!

And vote some more!! Vote for 31 until noon today! Vote vote vote!! I really want to win. Hehehe!

Pictures of all sorts of stuff to come shortly!

VOTE! :o)