contemplative

I'm currently composing a tell all about a friendship that went south this past september. it sucks when any relationship ends. this one in particular bothers me a lot. i was accused of a lot and chose not to confront her because in doing so, i would have had to stoop to her level. i chose not to.

it just makes me think.

as I continue to clean out my house, i think sometimes God does the same with our lives. He takes the clutter out as well as those that bring the clutter. I'm thankful for that removal.

yet, why do i keep thinking about it? on a daily basis I think about this situation. the way things ended, the way she accused me of things that she wouldn't go into detail on (all via email), the way she treated me (the matron of honor in her wedding) during the wedding, the way she noticed my different behavior over the last few years but never bothered to ask me about it. had she bothered, she would have known that my marriage was crumbling, i was devastated at the loss of 4 pregnancies, and all the other details that she never really cared to ask about.

i guess that's what bothers me the most. the fact that had we really even been that good of friends, she would have asked me if everything was ok instead of judging me for my irregular behavior.

let this be a lesson to me. if something seems different, there's usually a reason.

and, those that love you and truly know you, will be there through thick and thin. not notice things then secretly ridicule you for those things that they have no clue as to the reason for their existence.

I'm more than thankful for my faithful God given friends. Those are the ones that have lasted through the cleanout.

I'm off to bed....govt test tomorrow and lots of cleaning around here afterwards. our realtor comes on wednesday to take some photos.

thanks for stoppin by!